Oi! Sally (theif),
I hate you so much. I work a shitty job and save up for a month to buy an iPhone.
I know you stole my phone, you were the only one around when I had it last.
You copy my look (hairstyle) and now your stealing my expensive phone.
I hate you so much. fuck you!
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Greetings Some crazy lady named Julie,
Me and a friend went into a fish and chip shop run by some Italian guys to get some lunch, and while we stand back waiting for our order, all of a sudden the man behind the counter puts his hand on top of his head and yells out "oh no, it's Julie, hide!". He was speaking about a local bum crazy lady that was making her way into the store, who spends most of her days dancing on street corners and aimlessly wandering from shop to shop talking shit.
So anyway, she comes in and instantly starts her shit talking - just rambling on about nothing in particular. She has a medium sized bag with her although it wasn't clear to us at this point what was in the bag. It would become clear soon though, because while she was screaming out "THERE IS A HOLE IN MY BAG", all of its contents starting pouring out all over the shop floor. It turns out she had a bag full of markers, pens and other drawing shit, and they rolled everywhere.
The shop guy, after making it clear he wasn't keen to have her in his shop previously, now feels obliged to help her pick everything up, probably because he knows it is the quickest way to get her out of the shop. We just stood back though because so far she hadn't acknowledged us, and we wanted to keep it this way. The whole process takes a little longer than you'd think and after about 10 minutes they are finally done, and the crazy lady is on her way out. During this incident though, our food had been sitting there without our knowledge and by the time we finally get it, everything is cold, and they have no way of reheating it. So thanks to some retarded lady named Julie, we ate yucky warm chips and fish. Thanks you smelly retard.
Greetings Car thiefs,
I save up my dosh to buy a bitchin sound system for my car and within one god damn week some fuckwits break in and steal it. FUCK YOU YOU SHIT HEADS AREGRGRGEUHEWJLSJD!!!!!!!
Hey Grimmice,
My english teacher is big fat and purple in that face, so I call him Grimmice.
He had a look at my hand writing and hacked on it like he was king shit. He said "my cat can write better with a sore paw", to which I replied "your cat can write?".
He put me on detention for been a smart arse. Go eat shit Grimmice.
Greetings Mr Sox,
my cat died, now I have all this unecessary cat food in my cupboard. I hate throwing shit out, it makes me angry.
why did you have to die Mr Sox? little fucking cunt
Hey my aunty,
When my aunty stays with us, something always happens to our pets or our electronics. This last time it was our pets. First off, she thinks it's a good idea to feed our cat some of her chille sardines. Big mistake. We wake up to find blood in the cat tray and blood coming out of the cat's arse, which is always a great site to see first thing in the morning. So I'm stuck driving the cat to some vet early in the morning on a work day. Turns out the chille sardines wrecked havok on the cats' stomach.
Then a few days later, she's bringing shopping bags into the house, letting the dog in as she's doing it, and drops a bar of chocolate. Of course, the dogs goes for it, but noone realized it was eating it until a few minutes later, so we spend the night carefully monitoring the dog incase it suddenly, well, died.
Thanks aunty, I can't wait until next time where you spill something on my PS3. Yeesh.
Hey cats in the roof!,
why do you have to get in my roof late at night and scare the living crap out of me!!
i know i am a cat person but not stupid stray cats that like to live in my room and stir my dog up! you think you can come in my yard and take over so i hope that one day you do the dos=g gets you!!! stupid ball bag!!
maybe i mite get some catnip or something and put in the roof so you all get knocked the fuck out when you go up there!
Hey crazy lady on the train,
I was on the train and this crazy lady that smelt like urine rocked up and sat down a couple of row's across from me.
She starts scratching her scraggy old hair and says "stop doing that with your feet". I look at her weird because I am not doing anything with my feet. I didn't say anything to her because she was a crazy lady on a train.
Moments pass and she yells, "STOP DOING THAT WITH YOUR FEET". I'm bit scared but luckily my stop has arrived.
As I am about to get up and leave she screams "STOP DOING THAT WITH YOUR FEET!!! YOUR NOT A DANCER!!!"
Well Scraggy old piss lady, what the fuck would you know... I could be dancer...
Your a fucking arse hat!
Greetings Web Designers,
It shits me to tears when dickheads keep hounding me saying "check out my new website it's awesome".
Here's something else that's awesome:
GET FUCKED.
Hey Mathew,
i wish u wouldn't dirty your clothes!! i am sick of washing ffs!