You come into my backyard, fuck up my plants, my garbage and my back door. You make so much god damn racket that i cant get to fucking sleep. its 2 in the god damn morning for christ sake! on a fucking wednesday!
So i go in the back with my god damn airgun and put an end to the menace. Just so happens that my dumb cunt of a neighbor sees the raccoons as friends, and my airgun as the menace. Theres a god damn law against airguns in the city, but no fucking law against beleaguering raccoons in my backyard at two in the god damn morning on a god damn wednesday! What the FUCK!!!
Posted on 10-08-2009 | 
Category: People and Pets | 
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I am so fucking glad you are leaving NewZealand politics to the professionals... You have been nothing but a shit stain on the political process of New Zealand, and have done nothing but try to turn our beautiful country into a Facistly Liberal society... Fuck you, eat your goddam tofu and die bitch
Posted on 10-01-2009 | Category: People and Pets | Comments: 0 | Link | Share
I love you to death Tim but you're driving me up the fucking wall.
You make situations out to be bigger than they really are, and I hate it.
The excessive pda needs to stop. I'm all for giving affection, but when it's around your parents I don't want you hanging all over me.
When we're kissing during sex you really need to NOT come at me with your mouth wide open and your tongue all over the place. It's a huge turn off.
Sometimes I wish I had stuck to girls.
Posted on 08-02-2009 | Category: People and Pets | Comments: 0 | Link | Share
So I finally, after six months of saving, buy my girlfriend who's leaving me next month (for good) a $400 underwater digital camera this month. Today, kayaking for the first time, she dumps it in the fucking ocean, never to be seen a fucking-gain. While futily searching for it, I manage to cut both hands and feet on coral. Later on, we throw a birthday party for a friend of mine. We get drunk, my best friend runs off to hook up with a girl who I've got a rather obnoxious crush on (in fact, him and a bunch of others go skinny dipping in the ocean) while I remain behind to clean up after a 20 person party. I set my hand on fire, twist my ankle and tear the tendon in my foot arch (tendon/ankle thing in same glorious mistep). Halfway to the store, at 1AM, to buy cleaning products for this shitty task, I get a call... to babysit another drunk friend. I limp back to her, hang out til she leaves, and limp back to the store. I drop $30, which including alcohol, food, kayaks and everything else today brings my total spending to something like $200.
Best part? I'm waking up in four hours to scuba dive the shitty armpit of the city to find this fucking camera that my girlfriend lost. Hungover, on my last day off. So fuck it all.
Posted on 06-28-2009 | Category: People and Pets | Comments: 1 | Link | Share
I'm so pissed you died. I cant stop crying.
I wanted to see you live but now I cant. I'm out of pocket aswell but shit man.... Why did you have to DIE!!!!
:*(
Posted on 06-26-2009 | Category: People and Pets | Comments: 0 | Link | Share
So, I was working my hours on a Saturday and I was really pissed because I was going to miss this HUGE party that my friend was throwing that night, and my boss wouldn't let me have the night. So this material bitch walks in and she started looking in the hat section. She starts asking me for help and I help her. She wanted to know where some pink hats were. I show her the hats and she starts yelling at me because it's not a proper shade of pink. I like explode! I shout "WELL HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW BITCH! GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU DUMB WHORE AND SHOVE THIS HAT UP YOUR ASS CUZ YOUR BUYING IT!" So the whore looks stunned and runs towards my managers office and goes in. Like 10 minutes later my boss comes out and fires me. God I was so fucking pissed! I missed the party AND got fired! My boss was holding a cup of coffee so a took it and spilled it all over his head. He screamed and I ran out. My bosses hair and outfit was messed up so that bitch obviously became a slut and fucked him to get me fired. What a bitch!
I HATE YOU FUCKING CUNT!
Posted on 06-08-2009 | Category: People and Pets | Comments: 0 | Link | Share
So this bitch at a bar walks up to me and is all like "OMG how the fuck can you cheat on my fucking friend you fucking gay ass hole!" And she punched me in my fucking balls then pepper sprayed me. Later that night still at the bar pissed off the bitch came up to me and apologized for mistaking me for some other dude.
God, what a slow minded cunt!
Posted on 06-08-2009 | Category: People and Pets | Comments: 0 | Link | Share
I was running to the elevator, I tripped and that mother fucker not only watched me trip but let the elevator close.
I got chewed out for been late because tripping is not an excuse. I was only 3 minutes late!
I'll get you George... You CUNT!
Posted on 05-19-2009 | Category: People and Pets | Comments: 0 | Link | Share
so there is this guy in my school that is the most arrogant guy i know. he believes that there is no other real language in the world but english and other people are stupid and made up the other thousand languages in the world.
he also believes that computers are a passing fad!
so we got into it. this major argument and it left me so mad that i went to his farm found his favorite horse and painted it the colors of the rainbow and strapped a dildo to its head.
to this day he doesn't know it was me.
HE STILL PISSES ME OFFFF!!!!!
Posted on 05-09-2009 | Category: People and Pets | Comments: 0 | Link | Share
