Greetings All you needy arsewipes!,
Being a holistic practitioner you would think that someone such as myself would not be posting a comment on this website. You would be WRONG! I am sick and tired of being phoned at all hours of the day and night to do FREE tarot readings to tell you whether or not you can wake up and function like a regular human being tomorrow and whether or not your drug-addicted arsehole of a son will pull his head out of his own arse and get a regular job and stop bleeding you dry. Also yes, your husband is currently screwing 2 other women and to tell you the truth I don't blame him!
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Hey Tim, my boyfriend,
I love you to death Tim but you're driving me up the fucking wall.
You make situations out to be bigger than they really are, and I hate it.
The excessive pda needs to stop. I'm all for giving affection, but when it's around your parents I don't want you hanging all over me.
When we're kissing during sex you really need to NOT come at me with your mouth wide open and your tongue all over the place. It's a huge turn off.
Sometimes I wish I had stuck to girls.
Greetings The shitty world,
So I finally, after six months of saving, buy my girlfriend who's leaving me next month (for good) a $400 underwater digital camera this month. Today, kayaking for the first time, she dumps it in the fucking ocean, never to be seen a fucking-gain. While futily searching for it, I manage to cut both hands and feet on coral. Later on, we throw a birthday party for a friend of mine. We get drunk, my best friend runs off to hook up with a girl who I've got a rather obnoxious crush on (in fact, him and a bunch of others go skinny dipping in the ocean) while I remain behind to clean up after a 20 person party. I set my hand on fire, twist my ankle and tear the tendon in my foot arch (tendon/ankle thing in same glorious mistep). Halfway to the store, at 1AM, to buy cleaning products for this shitty task, I get a call... to babysit another drunk friend. I limp back to her, hang out til she leaves, and limp back to the store. I drop $30, which including alcohol, food, kayaks and everything else today brings my total spending to something like $200.
Best part? I'm waking up in four hours to scuba dive the shitty armpit of the city to find this fucking camera that my girlfriend lost. Hungover, on my last day off. So fuck it all.
Oi! Michael Jackson,
I'm so pissed you died. I cant stop crying.
I wanted to see you live but now I cant. I'm out of pocket aswell but shit man.... Why did you have to DIE!!!!
:*(
Oi! mommy,
FUCK YOU
Oi! Moaning CUNT,
So, I was working my hours on a Saturday and I was really pissed because I was going to miss this HUGE party that my friend was throwing that night, and my boss wouldn't let me have the night. So this material bitch walks in and she started looking in the hat section. She starts asking me for help and I help her. She wanted to know where some pink hats were. I show her the hats and she starts yelling at me because it's not a proper shade of pink. I like explode! I shout "WELL HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW BITCH! GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU DUMB WHORE AND SHOVE THIS HAT UP YOUR ASS CUZ YOUR BUYING IT!" So the whore looks stunned and runs towards my managers office and goes in. Like 10 minutes later my boss comes out and fires me. God I was so fucking pissed! I missed the party AND got fired! My boss was holding a cup of coffee so a took it and spilled it all over his head. He screamed and I ran out. My bosses hair and outfit was messed up so that bitch obviously became a slut and fucked him to get me fired. What a bitch!
I HATE YOU FUCKING CUNT!
Hey Some bitch,
So this bitch at a bar walks up to me and is all like "OMG how the fuck can you cheat on my fucking friend you fucking gay ass hole!" And she punched me in my fucking balls then pepper sprayed me. Later that night still at the bar pissed off the bitch came up to me and apologized for mistaking me for some other dude.
God, what a slow minded cunt!
Hey George of the elevator,
I was running to the elevator, I tripped and that mother fucker not only watched me trip but let the elevator close.
I got chewed out for been late because tripping is not an excuse. I was only 3 minutes late!
I'll get you George... You CUNT!
Greetings GUS!!!!,
so there is this guy in my school that is the most arrogant guy i know. he believes that there is no other real language in the world but english and other people are stupid and made up the other thousand languages in the world.
he also believes that computers are a passing fad!
so we got into it. this major argument and it left me so mad that i went to his farm found his favorite horse and painted it the colors of the rainbow and strapped a dildo to its head.
to this day he doesn't know it was me.
HE STILL PISSES ME OFFFF!!!!!
Oi! the small child that hides in the cloathing store pants,
ok i was walking into a cloathing store to get some new pants because i just ripped my pants in half at work and i needed a new pair and i am going through the pants that are hanging up on this circular rack and i am just parting the pants and all of a sudden this kid jumps out and is running away from another little kid as he does this my arm catches on one of the cloathes hangers and rips my arm from my elbow to my wrist and it hits an artery so i look at the cut and i am watching it bleed. soon i realize that i need to get help so just as i start running i pass out and fall on the ground from loss of blood and luckily there is a staff member that knows how to treat a situation like this and puts a clothe over my arm to slow down the bleeding until the medics get here and then the next thing i know i wake up in a hospital with 55 stitches in my arm and a massive medical bill in front of me.
after getting the bandages all on i leave the hospital and two days later i see the kid walking down the street with an ice cream cone so i get out of my car run up to him grab his ice cream cone and through it against the ground and grab his head and slam it against my knee and then he is knocked out and his freind runs up and starts crying and i pick him up and dropkick him in the balls.
a shop keeper sees and calls the cops and i was charged with two counts of assault and went to jail.
i just got out and i am pissed.